Compassion Fatigue-
Spiritual, Emotional and Physical Bankruptcy
By Mary Rose Remington
First in a two-part series
“The driver knows how much the ox can carry, and keeps the ox from being overloaded. You know your way and your state of mind. Do not carry too much.”
Zen saying
It was the spring of my discontentment: on top of my usual personal and professional stressors, the year had been a ‘perfect storm’ of extreme challenges: my husband’s not-so-great business endeavor, resulting financial problems, menopause and marital strife. The tell-tale sign that I had reached my absolute limit came when my husband told me (for what seemed like the millionth time) about a problem he was struggling with. And for what felt like the hundredth time, I suggested—and he rejected—my advice to seek professional help. Sucked bone dry of patience and empathy, it took tons of grace and every ounce of restraint in my body to resist blurting, “Here’s my cell phone. Call someone who cares!” Inside I felt awful about my callousness, but later I understood: I was suffering from compassion fatigue.
What Is Compassion Fatigue?
Compassion fatigue is a deep physical, emotional and/or spiritual exhaustion that causes a decline in one’s ability to experience joy or to feel and care for others. It is the cumulative result of absorbing and internalizing the emotions of patients, clients, co-workers, even friends or family members. Compassion fatigue results when the interaction between helper and the person being helped actually hurts. When we stay on a one-way street of giving, and expend a great deal of energy and compassion over time, but aren’t able to get enough back to reassure ourselves that the world is a hopeful place, we risk compassion fatigue. In a nutshell, if you used to be a compassionate person and now you can’t express compassion to those in need, you are probably suffering from some degree of compassion fatigue.
One Hundred Years of Historical Perspective
The term compassion fatigue has evolved over time. Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist described a related concept—counter-transference— back in 1907. Counter-transference described the therapist’s conscious and unconscious reactions to a patient in the therapeutic situation. Leap ahead to 1980 when post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) was formally recognized as an anxiety disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, III. PTSD refers to the psychological disorder of individuals who have had a profound trauma—such as torture or war experiences—marked by recurrent flashbacks, nightmares, eating disorders, anxiety, fatigue, forgetfulness and/or withdrawal. In 1990, McCann and Pearlman coined the term ‘vicarious tramatization’ to describe what happens when a caregiver experiences the stress, anxiety and grief of their client or patient who experienced the trauma. Finally, around 1995 Charles Figley coined the term compassion fatigue. Other health experts have used similar terms to describe when an individual observing or treating another person, experiences emotional responses similar to their clients emotions. These terms include secondary traumatic stress, secondary survivor and emotional contagion.
Warning Signs
Those who work in healthcare roles are susceptible to compassion fatigue, but anyone who expends a great deal of energy towards others in need can also be at risk. Even those who are exposed to traumatic events in the media on a repeated basis can experience compassion fatigue.
Heed these top ten warning signs of compassion fatigue.
- Feeling estranged from others.
- Difficulty falling or staying asleep.
- Outbursts of anger or irritability with little provocation.
- Flashbacks connected to clients or families.
- Startling easily.
- Cynical, discouraged or hopeless attitude at work.
- Feeling resentful of clients, co-workers or whomever you care for.
- Experience troubling dreams and/or intrusive thoughts related to work with difficult clients or patients.
- Feel tired, weak and rundown as result of your helping efforts; working too hard.
- Unsuccessful at separating work from personal life.
Remington’s Remedy
Thank God we have compassionate helpers in this world who willingly serve others. Yet when helpers give too much, for too long and don’t refill their own energetic, emotional and spiritual buckets, they are headed down a slippery slope. Check out next month’s column on prevention tips, treatment techniques and career implications related to compassion fatigue.
Click Here to download the Compassion Fatigue Assessement Form
Mary Rose Remington, M.S.Ed. is a career counselor and life coach, motivational speaker and freelance writer from St. Paul. She is the author of Career Quest, a Practical and Spiritual Guide to Finding Your Life’s Passion. To schedule a consultation, presentation or to purchase her book, please visit www.maryremington.com, phone 651-457-1302or email Mary Rose at mrose@maryremington.com
